The Secret History

by

Procopius of Caesarea

translated by Richard Atwater

(Chicago: P. Covici, 1927 New York Covici Friede 1927)

Reprinted, Ann Arbor, MI: University of Michigan Press, 1961, with indication
that copyright had expired on the text of the translation.

15. HOW ALL ROMAN CITIZENS BECAME SLAVES

Theodora too unceasingly hardened her heart in the practice of inhumanity. What
she did, was never to please or obey anyone else; what she willed, she performed
of her own accord and with all her might: and no one dared to intercede for any
who fell in her way. For neither length of time, fulness of punishment, artifice
of prayer, nor threat of death, whose vengeance sent by Heaven is feared by all
mankind, could persuade her to abate her wrath. Indeed, no one ever saw Theodora
reconciled to any one who had offended her, either while he lived or after he had
departed this earth. Instead, the son of the dead would inherit the enmity of the
Empress, together with the rest of his father’s estate: and he in turn bequeathed
it to the third generation. For her spirit was over ready to be kindled to the destruction
of men, while cure for her fever there was none.

To her body she gave greater care than was necessary, if less than she thought
desirable. For early she entered the bath and late she left it; and having bathed,
went to breakfast. After breakfast she rested. At dinner and supper she partook
of every kind of food and drink; and many hours she devoted to sleep, by day till
nightfall, by night till the rising sun. Though she wasted her hours thus intemperately,
what time of the day remained she deemed ample for managing the Roman Empire.

And if the Emperor intrusted any business to anyone without consulting her, the
result of the affair for that officer would be his early and violent removal from
favor and a most shameful death.

It was easy for Justinian to look after everything, not only because of his calmness
of temper, but because he hardly ever slept, as I have said, and because he was
not chary with his audiences. For great opportunity was given to people, however
obscure and unknown, not only to be admitted to the tyrant’s presence, but to converse
with him, and in private.

But to the Queen’s presence even the highest officials could not enter without
great delay and trouble; like slaves they had to wait all day in a small and stuffy
antechamber, for to absent himself was a risk no official dared to take. So they
stood there on their tiptoes, each straining to keep his face above his neighbor’s,
so that eunuchs, as they came out from the audience room, would see them. Some would
be called, perhaps, after several days; and when they did enter to her presence
in great fear, they were quickly dismissed as soon as they had made obeisance and
kissed her feet. For to speak or make any request, unless she commanded, was not
permitted.

Not civility, but servility was now the rule, and Theodora was the slave driver.
So far had Roman society been corrupted, between the false geniality of the tyrant
and the harsh implacability of his consort. For his smile was not to be trusted,
and against her frown nothing could be done. There was this superficial difference
between them in attitude and manner; but in avarice, bloodthirstiness, and dissimulation
they utterly agreed. They were both liars of the first water.

And if anyone who had fallen out of favor with Theodora was accused of some minor
and insignificant error, she immediately fabricated further unwarranted charges
against the man, and built the matter up into a really serious accusation. Any number
of indictments were brought, and a court appointed to plunder the victim, with judges
selected by her, to compete with themselves to see which one could please her most
in fitting his decision to the Empress’s inhumanity. And so the property of the
victim would be straightway confiscated, and after he was cruelly whipped, even
if he perhaps belonged to an ancient and noble family, she would callously have
him sentenced to exile or to death.

But if any of her favorites happened to be caught in the act of murder or any
other serious crime, she ridiculed and belittled the efforts of their accusers,
and compelled them, however unwillingly, to quash the charge. Indeed, whenever she
felt the inclination, she turned the most serious matters of state into a jest,
as if she were again on the stage of the theater.

Once an elderly patrician, who had been for a long time in high office (whose
name I well know, but shall carefully refrain from mentioning, so as not to bring
eternal ridicule upon him), being unable to collect from one of her attendants a
considerable sum of money owed him, went to her with the intention of asking his
due and imploring her just aid. But Theodora was warned, and told her eunuchs, as
soon as the patrician should be admitted to her presence, to surround him in a body
and listen to her words; telling them what to say after she had spoken. And when
the patrician was admitted to her private quarters, he kissed her feet in the customary
manner and, weeping, addressed her:

“Highness, it is hard for a patrician to ask for money. For what in other men
brings sympathy and pity, in one of my rank is considered disgraceful. Any other
man suffering hardships from poverty may plead this before his creditors, and receive
immediate relief from his difficulty; but a patrician, not knowing whence he can
find the wherewithal to pay his creditors, would be ashamed in the first place to
admit it. And if he did say this, he could never persuade them that one of such
rank could know penury. And even if he did persuade them, he would be making himself
suffer the most shameful and intolerable disgrace imaginable.

“Yet, Highness, such is my plight. I have creditors to whom I owe money, while
others owe money to me. And those whom I owe, who are pressing me for payment, I
cannot, for the sake of my reputation, attempt to cheat of their due; while my debtors,
for they are not patricians, deny me with unmanly excuses. I charge you, therefore;
I beseech and beg of you, to aid me in what is right, and release me from my present
trouble.”

So he said, and the Queen answered musically:

“Patrician Mr. Such-and-such-” whereupon the chorus of eunuchs sang:

“Your hernia seems to bother you much!”

And when the man entreated her again, making a second speech similar to his first
one, she answered as before, and the chorus sang the same refrain: till, giving
it up, the poor wretch bowed and went home.

Most of the year the Empress resided in the suburbs on the seashore, especially
in the place called Heraeum, and the numerous crowd of her attendants was subjected
to great inconvenience. For it was hard to get necessary supplies, and they were
exposed to the perils of the sea: especially to the frequent sudden storms and the
attack of sharks. Nevertheless they counted the most bitter misfortunes as nothing,
so long as they could share the licenses of her court.